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Sarcastic

Always put the important before the merely urgent.

Better living through denial.

Constant change is here to stay!

Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

Efficiency takes time! Frugality...who can afford it?

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper. Quentin Crisp

Life is nothing like the brochure.

Don't bother me I'm living happily ever after.

I have not lost my mind, it's backed up on a disk somewhere.

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. Tammy Faye Baker

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.

We all have faults, mine is being wicked.

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?